Possibly another controversial subject, right? Well I’m here once again to tell it like it is. I do not believe it happens to everyone out there but, people seem to become better overall when they have children.
The desire for change
Honestly, think about how many people you either know, or seen become a success story because they had children. They give us the desire to change, showing them the type of person you wish to see in the world. It’s not a bad thing, I just think that without noticing, becoming responsible for a small human and the instincts kick in to show them the right way.
The science behind it
As time progresses and my age increases, I find more of an interest in science along with how the human mind and body work. Time and time again, it proves how amazing the mind can be. Instinct leads the way in where we should go, even more so when the instinct for parenting kicks in. Suddenly, we become more careful of what we say and do especially around our little ones.
When I went through my dark period of steering away from opiates and transitioned into drinking while I was attending to college at 19 for a mans degree that I didn’t know would not help me get a job in the future. Instead it seemed to only pass time and show me what life on your own is really like when the only person to blame is well, yourself. Alcohol seemed to peek its ugly head at me, I drowned my self in sorrow when I wasn’t working or going to school. By that point life was a blur, eventually I found my self with someone that I would end up marrying in the future.
Where motherhood began
Thanksgiving of 2014, my boyfriend left to visit his family for the holidays, I just graduated and was working for a parts store. I discovered that I was pregnant. The first while was a train wreck filled with fear and anxiety. After a while, I became overjoyed to be a mother, especially since I was told having children wasn’t an option. Defying the odds of a medical doctors opinions was exhilarating. I felt like the one percent, and I wanted nothing more than to meet my baby. She is a miracle to this day to me, along with my two step children.
Over time, between the pregnancy and becoming a mother of two additional children squashed my desire to drink. Being sober didn’t seem so bad, life was less miserable, less clouded.
In some ways children are learning lessons, other times they are the blessing we needed before losing ourselves to something that was not worth losing everything for.
Losing the fear
At one point I was afraid, afraid to talk about my struggles, my mistakes, my damages, my pain….but no more. There are others who have endured either some or all what you have been for then there are the ones who have bared more than the mind can fathom.
Now, I feel proud of who I am. It has made me a resilient, strong and loving person that fights until the end, and will do anything for those I care about. No longer does life need to be lived in fear, be proud of the struggles you overcame, be proud of the capacity you have been given to love.
The feelings of the rewards down the road from doing the right things, especially out of love can’t be measured or priced.
Children, a natural part of being human and a species that reproduces are so much more. They are more than the future, they are what gives some of us the means to live, the power to go on.
Within two years of going from one child to three, I have already seen the rewards of what love and care can do.
Is there a special way your little one makes you a better person?
What obstacles have you overcome that you never thought you could?
Share your story with us in the comments below!